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The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for bokep caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, porn she rolled her eyes and crot declared the woman an ‘actrice’, memek or bokep sex worker.

Now, bokeh according to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, crot it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and memek all men crot dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokeh the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, bokeh you can’t measure passion in terms porn of decibels: bokeh there’s sex as performance art, bokep and crot sex as genuine intimacy. And bokep when a woman is genuinely aroused, porn trusts her partner and crot is not fearing for porn a fragile male ego, memek she’s far more likely to gently sigh and porn moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my bokep Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, memek female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, memek they’d explain, memek so they could make their partner feel happy, crot while conserving their energy for memek other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and bokeh ‘manipulation’, bokeh and memek that women were prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, bokeh so to bokep speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokep the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: crot ‘I’m enjoying this, porn but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, porn ladies?

The only other reason to screech bokeh like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, bokep where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland crot said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: memek ‘As far as I’m concerned, crot that’s what you should be doing.’

Well, bokep only if you want to attract a certain kind of attention.

In memek their book, memek Sex At Dawn, memek Christopher Ryan and porn Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and crot keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, porn I can understand memek the need to advertise. But if you’re not, crot then men should take heed: porn the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris